1983
by deathtobieber
Summary: Inspired by the song by Neon Trees. Fang is haunted by his past, mainly his old girlfriend, Max. READ FOR INFO ON MY LACK OF UPDATES.


**I guess I have a bit of explaining to do, don't I? **

**Well, the thing is, I haven't been feeling it for any of my current fanfictions lately. Any fanfiction, really. Sometimes when I read a new book that's really good, I get the feels again. But recently, Maximum Ride just hasn't been doing it for me. I guess it just became old for me.**

**I had started this one before the boredom really sat in. I really like the way this one turned out, but there's no denying that it isn't perfect. I just really hope you readers enjoy it. **

**I honestly don't know if I'll be writing fanfiction anymore. It seems best to let you all know this. Even if I do continue writing fanfiction, it might not be Maximum Ride, though that had been my main fandom for forever. There is no doubt that I still love the books, and the characters, and everything about it. But whenever I try right, it just doesn't ring true to me. It really hurts me to be doing this. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or James Patterson.**

I shuffled into the bathroom, barefoot. Moonlight streamed in through the floor-to-ceiling window, giving the room a depressing glare. I looked into the mirror, looking into my eyes. They used to be black but with a shine in them, but now they seemed to have lost any joy they once held. Dark circles surrounded my eyes. I pulled on the dark skin, and it seemed less taught than my other skin. I sighed and opened the medicine cabinet.

Inside were a number of prescription pill bottles for anxiety and insomnia. I grabbed a random bottle and took out a few pills, taking them down dry.

I sighed, leaning against the counter. I was tired, but I couldn't fall asleep. Lisa's breathing was keeping me awake, or so I thought. Maybe it was my breathing. Maybe If I stopped, I could finally get enough sleep.

I turned on the water and splashed my face, rubbing my eyes. I turned off the water and shuffled back into the bedroom, lying next to Lisa. I lay on my stomach, putting the side of my face on my pillow. It was so cold; I wondered how long I'd been in the bathroom. Hours? Days? Years?

Lisa started to breathe again. In, out, in, out. She was breathing so deeply, it seemed like she was sucking all the air out of the bedroom. I started taking deeper breathes, trying to get all the air into my lungs before she could, hoping she wouldn't have any more air to be able to breathe in, so she would die in her sleep.

And, suddenly, my taught muscles relaxed. My breathing relaxed and evened out, stealing my chance to kill Lisa. My last thought was wondering if I had taken one too many anxiety pills or a sleeping pill.

"Brah," a deep voice said from some distance away. "Brah. Brah, come one, twenty bucks."

"Dude," I said instinctively. "Chill the fuck down."

"Alright, brah," the voice said. A fuzzy image was coming in. "My boss'll skin me alive. I need the money, brah."

"Stop calling me 'brah'."

"Alright, b- uh, man," he said. Finally, a full image came in.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I pulled out a twenty and handed it to the guy with the blond dreadlocks and stuck my wrist into the small square where a square of glass had been cut out. He wrapped a slim strip of paper around my wrist and peeled a piece off, sticking it onto the paper part. He shoved my hand out of the cubby hole and I left the line.

I took in my surroundings. I was at a fair. To my left was a Ferris wheel, one of the old ones without the cover and that swayed back and forth every time it lurched to a stop. The lights twinkled on and off, never decided what pattern (if any) it wanted to follow.

Something cold slipped into my hand, lacing its fingers through mine. My hand instinctively tightened around it, realizing it would disappear soon and I would wake up.

But when I squeezed, the cold fingers squeezed back, for the first time in a long time.

"Hey, Baby Doll," a rough voice said, and a blond with wavy hair popped up in front of me. Her brown eyes were adorned with purple and green eye shadow. She had on a Nirvana shirt that cut off just below the belly button, and continuously slid off on shoulder, no matter how many times she fixed it. She had on her leather shorts, so tight, too tight. Her necklace was wrapped four times around her neck, so it was a choker instead of going down to her navel, and there was a heavy amber stone attached to the cord; she had gotten it at a flea-market two towns over for fifteen dollars. Her black Converse had turned more of a gray color from dirt and dust.

"Max," I barely breathed.

She grasped my other hand and got on her tip-toes, leaning in towards me so our noses were almost touching. "Hey, Baby Doll," she said again, clicking her tongue. "'Bout time you got here."

I lifted my hand, even though Max still had her cold fingers wrapped with mine. I touched her cheek softly, watching her smile grow and how she barely leaned into it.

"Is this real?" I asked quietly.

She blinked and yanked back, falling back onto her heels and yanking on my hands so I rocked forward. "'Course it is."

I looked into her face, watching her smile linger on her lips. Her eyes were the color of milk chocolate, even though they turned into dark chocolate when she got mad. They didn't betray anything, like if this was a dream or some great hallucination.

Only one way to find out.

I looked down at my thumb that was resting over Max's. My nail looked healthy and not bitten down. Resting over my first knuckle was a silver ring, with black stars around it.

"So this is real . . ." I said slowly.

"Come _on_, Fang!" Max said, tightening her grip around my hand. Her blue nails dug into the back of my hand. She pulled me forward, away from the Ferris wheel.

"Where are we going?" I asked, allowing myself a small grin.

"We're going to play some games while we wait for Nudge and Iggy," she said, dragging me towards small tents lined with lights. Shady guys in greasy t-shirts and beer guts sat at booths, trying to entice others to play their games. "I have money, don't worry."

"Why would I worry?" I asked, catching up to her and kissing her cheek.

"Well . . . I know you've been a little short on cash lately, since . . . you know . . ."

"Max," I said, unwinding my fingers from hers and winding my arm around her waist, "don't worry about it. Please."

She looked at me oddly, her eyes narrowing. "Okay then. If you're sure."

"Maximum Martinez-Ride – you are my girlfriend, and I want to do this for you."

She blinked, now looking downright shocked. "What did you just call me?"

I cleared my throat.

She smiled and pulled me tighter next to her. I smiled and tightened my hand around her waist.

Max automatically went to the station where you threw balls and tried to knock down bowling pins. She always had a good arm, and liked to show off.

I pulled out a five and handed it to the man with greasy, stringy hair. He handed me three balls, and I handed them to Max. She rubbed her thumb on the back of the stone hanging from her necklace. She took the ball and rolled it in her hands, and quickly threw the ball at the bowling pins. It knocked over the top pin.

Max swore. The man said, in what appeared to be a southern accent, "Nice try, liddle lady. You got two more tries."

"No shit, Sherlock," she said under her breath. She took the second ball and tossed it, knocking over the second pin and wobbling the third. She swore again. "You go," she said, handing me the last dirty white ball with a grin. "I'm just going to get pissed."

I took the ball, threw, and missed by several inches, purposefully. I frowned and glared at the pins.

"C'mon," Max said, "let's go play something else." She winked at me. "Don't want to spend all our money in once place, now do we?"

I smiled, slung my arm around her shoulders, and followed her as she travelled from game to game, acquiring a small stuffed hippo and two suckers. She unwrapped one and handed it to me. I sucked on it for a while.

Then, Max saw the photo booth. Her eyes lit up and her lips curved into a smile. Her index finger curled around my belt loop, pulling me towards the small booth next to the coin machines. We waited as two girls left the booth, holding a thin slip of paper and giggling. Max rushed in, pulling me in behind her.

She took out a five from her wallet, inserting it into the machine. It had a countdown of three seconds. Max smiled and wrapped her arms around me. I did so also, nuzzling my nose up to her cheek.

There was a flash. She took the sucker out of my mouth. Another flash. Laughed as I tickled her sides. Flash. Looked into my eyes, tightening her arms around my shoulders. Flash. Planted a big fat kiss on my lips. Flash.

There was a semi-loud slicing noise and something fell onto the floor, but we barely noticed. Max dropped the sucker, tugging on my hair. I tightened my arms around her waist and she shoved her tongue down my throat.

There was a sound of metal-on-metal, and someone giggled. A deep voice with a mischievous undertone said, "Well, well, if it isn't the two love birds."

Max separated herself from me, smiling up to her eyes. "Hey, Igs. Hey, Nudge. We've been looking for you guys."

"And you what? Got bored?" Nudge asked, laughing.

Max shot her a look, picked up our pictures, and handed it to me. "Here – you keep them."

"Thanks," I said, kissing her cheek and folding them into my wallet. "Let's go."

We hopped out of the photo booth, standing next to Iggy and Nudge. Iggy was tall and lanky, strawberry blond, and pale like the moon. Nudge only went up to his chest, even though she was tall also. Her hair was long and curly, going past her shoulders.

I wrapped my arms around Iggy's shoulders and said, "My love! How I have longed to see you!"

He blanched and said, "Ugh. Bro, that's so not cool."

"Why, do you not love him?" Max asked. "Scandalous!"

Nudge giggled.

"Dude," Iggy said, shrugging me off of him, "get off of me."

"Fine," I said. "Don't return my feelings. I don't need love."

He rolled his eyes.

"I want to go on the Sizzler," Max said, tugging on my belt loop.

"Yeah!" Nudge said excitedly. "Me too!"

"Alright," I said. "You two can squish Iggy."

"Hey!" Iggy objected. "I probably way less than Max."

Max punched his arm. "Don't ever mention a girl's weight. Unless, you know, you want to die."

"Ow," Iggy said, rubbing his arm.

"Damn right," I said. "You should be scared of her."

We walked to the Sizzler, Nudge and Max hooking their arms at the elbow. They whispered and giggled, walking a little ahead of me and Iggy.

Max, Nudge, and Iggy got on. The ride went round and round, a blur of lights and screams. The rest of the night went on like that; we screamed as the lights went round and round, blurring together. Nudge and Iggy left, walking side by side. Max and I finished off the last sucker, walking around the grounds.

Around eleven, we stopped and bought a funnel cake. We sat in the damp bleachers next to the baseball field, nibbling on the powdered dough. When we finished the cake, we sat and looked at the green field.

"Max?" I said, grabbing her cold hand.

"Yeah, Baby Doll?" she said, squeezing my hand.

"Do you love me?"

She was silent for what felt like an eternity.

I was about to die from the pain in my heart when she said, "Of course I do. Why would you even ask me that?"

I breathed in.

"Do you love me, too?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, twisting the ring around my thumb until it loosened. "I want you to have this."

I handed her the ring, and a look of panic came into her eyes. "Fang, are you asking me to marry you?"

"What? No. No. God, no!" I said, shaking my head. "I just . . . just take it."

She took the ring and slipped it onto her thumb. She took off her necklace, poured it into her hand, and shoved it towards me. "Here. I know it doesn't mean as much to me as your ring does to you, but . . ."

"I love it," I said, putting it around my neck.

A church bell rang, signaling it was midnight. A part of my subconscious curled into the fetal position, knowing what was coming.

"I have to go," she said. "Mom said to be back by eleven . . . oops."

"Don't go," I begged, picking up her hand and squeezing it. "Stay a little white longer."

"Fang," she said, slipping her hand out of mine. "Mom's probably sharpening her guillotine right now, awaiting my arrival."

She smiled, all teeth, but I didn't return it. "What's wrong?" she asked, putting her hand on my bicep.

"Please - don't go."

"Fang, I'm going to be fine," she said, sighing. "I'm a big girl – I can take care of myself."

"No you won't," I said lowly.

"Look," she said, putting her hand on the side of my face. It chilled me down to the bone. "You'll go home, too. The _second_ I get home, I'll call you up, and I'll do it until you pick up. Okay?"

My stomach flipped. There was an itching behind my eyes as I realized she wasn't going to change her mind, knowing it was going to end the same way. "Alright."

She leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded. She sent me a reassuring smile and walked down the bleachers. As she walked away, she turned around and waved. The moonlight caught the glint of her ring, and then the light started to fade out. The edges of the picture dissolved, and soon Max was completely gone.

When I woke up, light was coming through the windows. I squinted and moaned, rolling over. Max's necklace was cold against my chest. The sheets were tangled and moist with sweat. I was alone in the bed, Lisa having gone out somewhere.

I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. I wanted to call Mrs. Martinez, tell her how sorry I was. Tell her why I wasn't there to walk her home. Why I wasn't able to stop three bullets to the gut, for the measly ten dollars in her wallet. Apologize for never making the funeral, for not being brave enough to face all the pity-filled looks.

My phone started to ring, and I wondered if she knew I was contemplating calling her. But as I reached over to the nightstand and picked up my phone, the caller ID said it was Lisa. I pressed 'decline', and let the phone drop to the floor.

"You can't run from me forever," Max's voice said with a sigh.

"I know," I responded quietly.

I was only sleeping with Lisa because she reminded me of Max. Not her looks – she was curvy, short, had red hair, and green eyes. Her hands were always warm. But her attitude and how she called me 'baby' reminded me exactly of her. How she always tugged on my belt loop when she wanted something.

I rolled over, not realizing how dangerously close to the edge I was. The one final roll made me tip over, and I realized how much I hated Lisa. Hated her for the exact reason I had started sleeping with her for. And I hated Max, too. Hated her for being so stubborn and so independent and leaving when I asked her to stay.

"Oh, Fang." Her voice was in my head now. "You should have known I don't listen to people. That I don't follow anyone's orders."

I sighed and threw my arm over my eyes. I dug my fingernails into my bicep. "Max," I moaned softly. "Please don't leave me again."

I was answered with silence. Her voice, however imaginary it was, was gone.

**Alright guys, I guess this might be goodbye for a while, or maybe forever. I don't really know.**

**P.S: If you ever wanted to know my real name, it's Shelby.**

**Please review.**


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